NZ Life Posting Self Challenge

June 16 marked my one-year anniversary of arriving in New Zealand from Colorado.  I have been wanting to do a write-up of my thoughts and experiences over the past year, but I’ve been having a hard time focusing on what to write about. Once I start writing about one thought it seems to lead to another then a random tangent pops in and I’m left with a scary map of my thoughts that no one really needs to be subjected to.

So rather than try to fit it all in one post, I am going to challenge myself to something different. A post a day for four weeks; each day a post about my thoughts on life in New Zealand after living in Colorado for 36 years. I’m not saying that each post will be monumental, but I hope to get a lot of my pent-up thoughts out and give you an idea of how it feels to immigrate from the States.

Day 1

I don’t honestly know how to answer someone in New Zealand when they ask me “How do you like living here?” The short answer: it’s different and I’m still adapting. Long answer: I’m not completely sure and my feelings about it change daily. I don’t like not knowing an answer to something when asked and honestly, this question stresses me out more than I’d like to admit right now. I feel like I should be able to say quickly and definitively “I love it” (like my kids and my husband do) or “I can’t wait to leave”, but neither seems true. I’m getting comfortable with telling people “I’m still not sure” and being OK with giving that kind of non-commital response.

Of course once I give the response, I am then faced with how to field reactions to my response. Most people expect an easy positive response when they ask this question and are using it as an opening lead question to go in to another discussion entirely. And by giving my honest response, they are suddenly shoved into a more in-depth discussion than they expected. I have presented them with conversational anxiety. They look surprised, get flustered and try to avoid probing too much, but ultimately probe a bit to understand better. Which is fine. I didn’t exactly give them much to go on. Ultimately, though, I feel that I’ve somehow insulted them or their choice to live where they do. So the whole encounter ends awkwardly.

I will honestly say when I was asked this question when we first moved here I responded with “I love it” or “people are so nice” or “glad we don’t have to deal with this Trump mess”. But my initial joy at jumping in to something new has settled into the day-to-day survival we all fall in to at times. And, while most people are still very kind and nice (Kiwis give Canadians a run for their money), I’ve run into rude and mean people as well. Enough to jade me from quickly responding with this reply. And as for “not dealing with Trump”: because I am one of the few Americans around (only about 3% of immigrants to NZ are from the US annually), I am seen as the local expert to ask about American politics. Which means I end up researching more about the electoral college or impeachment laws then I ever would have back in Colorado because I get asked about it regularly. I actually carry a description of the damn electoral college system in one of my notebooks at work. I feel like I’m more of a patriot now than ever before.

We decided to move as a family because we were looking for a big change in our lives. My husband hated his job and needed to get into another pool of engineers to mix things up. I was spending too much time at my job as a nurse educator and not enough time at home. On top of that, schools in our area were focusing more and more on test scores and taking away extra curriculars like music and art. I finally snapped when the kid’s school announced they were cutting an entire recess period and lunch time down to 15 minutes so the kids had more time in the classroom and my 11 year old son was having anxiety attacks related to testing. We discussed at length what we could do and started looking at other schools in the area. Then we broadened our search to private schools and other states. And we came to the conclusion that most schools are so focused on raising young children’s test scores to gain funding that this trend was pretty much the same everywhere. And we don’t make near enough money for private school tuition.

So, we started looking at living in another country. I have a nursing license and most counties have nursing shortages, so me getting a job wasn’t a big deal. My husband had to check around regarding his work qualifications, but engineers are fairly universal as well. So, we decided we’d look for a mainly English speaking country with a warm climate to immigrate to and that pretty much narrowed down our choices to Australia or New Zealand. My husband got a job offer in New Zealand and now here we are.

Is my husband liking his job? It’s the happiest I’ve seen him at work in more than 10 years. Do I spend less time at work? Absolutely. I’ve never had better time management. And I feel less stressed and more in tune with my family. Are schools better? No. There are massive teacher shortages in Auckland and low funding for schools from the government (see the July/August edition of Metro magazine for a full discussion of issues being faced). But my kids are happier, less stressed and are enjoying school again. Both of them are experimenting with instruments right now and love the emphasis on culture and the arts that has strong support in their school.

So, do I like living in Auckland? Yes I do. I also liked living in Castle Rock, Colorado. The problems in some areas are shared in others. There is no perfect place to live, just better ways to live. And I’m still trying to figure out the best way to live my life. I just happen to be working on it in the South Pacific now.

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My Wonder Woman moment

Ever taken your kids to a movie? For some of us, it can be anything but relaxing and fun. I spend most of the time making sure they really are behaving, sitting still and not disturbing other people at the show. My son is really no problem: he has always vegged and zoned out like a champ when a movie is on. My daughter, however, is a movie-goer of another breed.

She cannot sit in one position for a long time. At home, it’s not a big deal: she doesn’t bother anyone. In a theatre, she spends her time draping herself from side to side, stretching her arms forward and back and standing up in the chair. She doesn’t seem to even notice she does it. And she asks questions and makes comments constantly. She is at that age where one begins to unravel the complexities of subtext in cinema. So she asks for clarification a lot. I must admit, even at home this tends to get on my nerves. And we’ve been shushed enough to make me panic a little everytime she does it. I admit: parenting has given me a weird combination of the most banal PTSD issues I never imagined.

I went through my normal paranoia while the movie started. Make sure drink bottles are open and next to the right kid. Open up packages during the opening ads so it doesn’t happen during a crucial scene. Turn off our devices. We were all good. Movie started and it was just like most we go to. Some shifting about, a few stage whispers. But, when the scenes on the Amazon island started and little Diana ran out to watch the warriors train, the cutest thing ever happened. A group of 5 girls close to the front (about 4-5 years old) stood up in their seats and gave this crazed war-cry. I braced myself for those poor girls and their poor mom about to get yelled at.

No yelling happened.

Almost the entire theatre giggled or cheered approvingly. I felt so much love in that one moment that I admit I was a little overwhelmed. Those girls cheered for a strong female character that they loved and an entire theatre approved. Let them be kids and geek out.

Other kiddos started cheering and clapping throughout the movie. It wasn’t annoying: it added to the experience. My daughter joined in. Hell, I joined in a few times. I saw a few other random adults doing the same. There was also one particularly cute time when the 5 year olds in front got very expressively grossed out by the kissing scene in the movie. I’ve never heard so much laughter during a kissing scene.

Yes, this movie is good. Yes, I’m glad a strong female lead from comics got her own movie. Most importantly to me, it is the first time in quite a while that I fully relaxed at the theatre with my kids. It’s rare that you feel a moment of bonding with everyone in the theatre at once. I love that this movie gave us that moment.